The Waitress
by Catherine Pugh
Summary: We all know Gordon Cole fell in love with Shelly Johnson at first sight, but for a real romance to happen between them, she has to get her act together...and leave Twin Peaks for good. Can she make something good of herself? Can her friend Gordon get her on the right track? Four chapters. Includes Norma/Ed, Dale/Audrey, Doc Hayward, Leo, Sheriff Truman, and Hawk
1. Chapter 1

Regional FBI Director Gordon Cole entered his room at the Great Northern, and fidgeted with his hearing aid. Whistles and pops went unnoticed as he turned it off, put it on the table, and flopped into a soft and silent bed. He stared at the knotty pine ceiling. So low. Honey colored. Sleep would come soon. He was exhausted, and a little dazed. This town of Twin Peaks was completely bizarre, an almost surreal place. He blamed the Douglas firs. They always conjured up bad juju.

But something else had happened in this strange little town, with the delightful diner and exquisite views of waterfalls. Gordon Cole had fallen head over heels in love.

It was the last thing he expected. Her name was Shelly Johnson. An ordinary name for an extraordinary beauty. How on earth could he hear her? She stirred something in his heart he hadn't felt in years. But there was something so sad about her. She was mixed up somehow, it didn't take a genius to figure that out. Nearly fifteen years in the field had shown him many women with that same demeanor.

All he knew was, he had to see her again soon. Tomorrow.

The last thing Gordon thought about before konking out was a vision of Shelly feeding him that gorgeous cherry pie, naked. WOWEEE.

-o0o-

THE BACK STORY.

_Gordon lost his hearing soon after joining the FBI, after contracting a very bad bout of scarlet fever. He was lucky - he barely made it through alive, but would forever be cursed with shouting and whistling hearing aids. It wasn't long before Peggy, his college sweetheart, couldn't take it anymore. She broke up with him just before he planned to pop the question._

_From then on, his work would be his life. Oh, there'd be a dalliance here and there (he was only human!)…a librarian in Pittsburgh, a surgeon in Philadelphia…but always the shouting shook them off after the second date. No matter how hard he tried to be nice, the shouting drove everyone bonkers. It was embarrassing, but he'd gotten sadly used to it. He tried to put on the suave Casanova act to save face around the other agents, but his dorky come-on lines had become a bit of a joke. He was actually very lonely. _

_Although Gordon Cole had started out as a composite sketch artist, his sharp, inquisitive brain moved him up in other fields. He had managed to continue off the field as a researcher, and moved his way up the ladder. Being deaf was, at first, out of the question for field work, but he proved to be a wonderful asset, and they found a niche for him. No one could make up a code quite like Gordon, and his modus operandi brought an excellent field record to his region. He'd transferred to Philadelphia and Pittsburgh for a few years, where he met Agent Dale Cooper, then a year ago, following up on the Theresa Banks case, transferred back to his home state of Washington._

-o0o-

THE NEXT AFTERNOON

After meeting with an extremely bizarre one-armed man who appeared possessed at the sheriff's office, Gordon found himself back at the Double R Diner. He strode in the door, confident as could be. Shelly stared at Gordon with a dazed smile.There he was again, the deaf FBI agent, who seemed to take his romantic cues from Pepe Le Pew.

_She had to admit, he was quite handsome, in a weird way. Something about his face. He seemed like he might be a lot of fun. After all, Agent Cooper had given his approval. She didn't think he'd set her up with someone creepy. And, what had she told Annie yesterday about "opportunities?" _

_Opportunities. Forget it, Shelly Johnson. You didn't deserve anything nice, _she thought.

"Miss Johnson. What a delight to behold you in my presence once again."

"Hello, Agent Cole! Can I get you something?"

"Please. Spare the boring formality. Call me Gordon. I would thrill to it. Could I perchance have some cherry pie and a cup of coffee?" he said.

"Yes, of course! And…it's Shelly. You can call me Shelly," she giggled.

"Shelly. A lovely name for the Roman Goddess of Bunn Coffee Makers."

Shelly went to the back room. Bobby was off doing something or another that night, and wouldn't be back for hours. She smiled to herself as she prepared the coffee. Norma sidled up to her with a sly smile.

"I think your shift is done, Shelly," she said.

"I have a half hour left!"

"I'll pay you for it. I think you should have an early night off. You've been working hard, and I think you deserve a little time to yourself."

"You mean, time to myself, with a new handsome friend?"

"Mmm hmm."

Shelly glanced up. Gordon was reading the paper. He really was cute. She looked at Norma and rolled her eyes.

"He's a little old for me. I'm only 21. He's got to be close to 40."

"He can't be THAT old. Come on. I think you should get to know him a little better. He's awfully smitten, and he seems sweet. You deserve some fun."

She walked back to Gordon and handed him his food.

"Gordon, I'm off work now. Would you like to eat in a booth? I'll come and have a slice of pie with you."

"Sweetheart, of course. This would make my week."

"Let me get changed out of my uniform."

She went into the bathroom and changed into a dress. The kind of dress Leo would have once beat her for wearing. She looked at herself in the mirror.

_The heavy makeup that covered Leo's vicious bruises had become a habit now, even though he was a vegetable. Bobby said it made her look more sophisticated, but she wasn't so sure. Her heart was beating very fast. She didn't know what to talk about with this man. She wiped off some of her lipstick and looked again. Better. She didn't want to look too trampy. She unbraided her hair and put in a headband that set it off nicely. Why was she so nervous?_

Gordon's face lit up as Shelly slid into the booth with him. She looked exquisite. Like a beautiful painting. That lovely long reddish hair was now framing her face, highlighting her sad smile. He scooched toward her and touched her hand.

"I realize I am being quite forward here, but hot diggity, sister, you are a knockout."

"Thank you!"

"Join me?"

"Yes!"

-o0o-

_Two hours flew by. Norma looked over and smiled at the pair of romantic cuties from time to time. Shelly looked happier than she'd seen her in years. This guy was so much nicer than that dopey Bobby kid. Agent Cole's voice would rise ever so often and Norma would catch a sentence here and there. He had a great sense of humor, just like Shelly. She needed someone like that, Norma thought sadly. Poor kid has been through too much in her life. _

Shelly walked over to the counter and pulled Norma around the ice cream machine.

"Norma, we can't figure out why he can hear me but no one else."

"Well, there's only one answer for that. I think you should take him to see Doc Hayward."

"Alone?"

"What do you think?" Norma gave Shelly a knowing, sly grin.

Shelly smiled.

"What if Bobby comes by?"

"I'll tell him you're running errands for me. Go, go. Give me the romantic details later."

-o0o-

_A few minutes later, they were on their way, walking uptown to the doctor's office. The stories continued. Shelly realized she had been smiling the whole time. She felt light for the first time in ages, although she remembered herself and decided it would be safer to take the back road into town, in case Bobby had skipped school._

_But soon Gordon stopped and turned toward her._

"I haven't asked much about you, Shelly Johnson. Where are my manners?"

"Oh. Um… There's not much to say."

"Are you married? Single? Please say single."

"Well…sort of. I am kind of married…."

Gordon's face fell.

"Well, not exactly anymore, not technically…my husband, well… He's a mess."

"I'm sorry."

"It's been pretty bad. We've been married 4 years. He's no good. I don't know how to explain this."

"You don't have to, if you don't want to."

"But that's just the thing. I feel like I need to tell you. I don't know why."

"Let's sit on the bench by the bridge," he suggested.

"Okay."

"I'm technically still married, yes. My husband is still alive, but he's a vegetable. He got shot one night by someone."

Gordon adjusted his hearing aid. "I see."

"Leo's beatings had been getting worse. I think he was mixed up with some drug people and every night he came home he'd find something to punish me for. A dirty dish, or a spot on the floor, and he'd wail me with a sling. I can't stop thinking about it."

_Gordon had indeed been briefed on Leo Johnson earlier in the week. He hadn't made the connection that Shelly Johnson was his young wife – this forlorn girl, next to him, hair of chestnut curls. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Leo Johnson was indeed a very dark character._

"See this here?" She pointed to a gash on her jaw. "He used to beat me with soap in a sock. This one on my arm was from when he burned me with a cigarette for ripping his pants in the dryer. He tried to kill me in an arson fire. I got in the habit of wearing all this makeup. I found a good foundation to cover the bruises. And dark lipstick covers the cut scars."

"How long has he been in his current condition?"

"Several weeks. He's at home now, in a wheelchair, being taken care of by me and a day nurse. Bobby, that's this guy I know…it was his idea. I just wanted him to go away forever, but Bobby got it in his head that I could get more insurance money if I took care of him. Bobby's kind of a schemer, but the fact is, I'm flat broke. If I didn't have this job I'd be left with $42 for the whole month. I'm selling off a necklace that was a gift."

"Ah."

"Like I said, Agent Cole…Gordon, I don't know where my head has been at. Part of me wants to get back at Leo for all the torture. I'm scared. I'm angry, I'm disappointed in myself. I just don't know what to think anymore."

"I don't blame you. I'd like to destroy him myself."

"Then I'll tell you the whole truth. I've been seeing Bobby behind Leo's back. He was so nice to me and treated me well and I liked getting even with Leo."

"Do you love this Bobby?"

"I thought I did, but he's really making me mad. I'm beginning to realize he's been playing me for some easy money. It's been a really stupid plan. I don't want this kind of pressure anymore, I don't think it's right. I don't love Leo. After being hit every day for everything, I didn't know what to do and I feel pressured into stuff I don't even want to do. I'm just tired."

Gordon's blood ran cold. He'd heard dozens of stories like hers over the years, but he felt a rush of affection for her. This was no shrinking violet, but she was certainly in a bad place. He took her hand. Their fingers locked together on her lap.

"I'm sorry." He squeezed it. She looked into his eyes and squeezed gently back. Shelly liked the simple connection. Something about Gordon seemed right. She knew she could trust him, even though she felt stupid about her own dumb decisions.

"Well, now you know all my dark secrets. I'm ashamed of a lot."

"If you don't mind my asking, what was your childhood like growing up?"

"Norma's been my only family since I started working. My dad's dead, he got shot in a hunting accident. My stepdad took off a while back. Mom is an alcoholic in a trailer on the end of town. I've got a few half brothers and sisters. Not exactly the most solid of upbringings. Mom's a mess."

"I understand much better now. Leo Johnson must have seemed like a stable character for you to marry him."

"I can't believe I've been so stupid. I know I'm not, but I am disappointed in myself. Did you know I skipped a grade in school? I used to be smart. I used to love to read. I haven't been able to concentrate on a book in a few years, because Leo would hit me for not doing something with the house. Sometimes I feel like I'm under a bad spell."

"Have you ever thought about college?"

"Sometimes. When I dropped out of high school it was for a stupid reason. I finished my GED at the diner in secret."

"What do you like?"

The question took her aback for a second or two. No one had ever asked.

"Hmm. Well…I like photography. I used to take pictures in high school and loved the darkroom. Leo broke my camera. It had belonged to my grandpop, but he didn't care. Leo smashed it against the wall. I haven't been really allowed to think about much besides keeping from getting hit."

"I understand."

"You don't judge me? Think I'm young and foolish and stupid? Because I feel like I have been."

"No. Quite the contrary. In fact, I hope you don't judge me as being foolish and stupid for my age. Because I really am swept away by you, my goddess of the Douglas firs. By the way, I'll be 40 next January, in case you were wondering, but I'm a young 39."

"I was wondering. But it doesn't really bother me. Leo's 10 years older than me, you know. I don't even think about it."

"I didn't. But good. You like older men. I hope you'll like older men who treat you well. We do exist."

"I guess."

Gordon turned to her and held both her hands in his. Shelly noticed her palms felt sweatier.

"Shelly. I hope you don't mind me asking this because we barely know each other, and I know it's weird, but if you need a hand getting a leg up in the world, would you consider talking to me? Maybe thinking about college or moving to the city?"

"Maybe..."

"I see someone in front of me who can do that. This isn't a come-on. You're extremely smart and perceptive. You seem like the type who people see as naïve, but you're very bright. This town is a dangerous place for that, Shelly. I'd hate to see you waste away your life with people who don't appreciate how wonderful and strong you are. You might think you're trash, but that's because they're treating you that way."

Shelly started to cry. No one had ever spoken to her that way before, not even Grandpa. Gordon actually gave a shit about her. He wasn't just after her for sex or a quick affair. She didn't know how to respond.

"I never told anyone what Bobby and I did to Leo. I'm so embarrassed."

Gordon took a hankerchief from his breast pocket, and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Desperation drives people to do stupid things, but your desperation is clearly different than your boyfriend's. I see a good person in front of me who needs a place to make a difference. My advice to you, whether or not you decide to take it, is to chuck it and move forward. But just see that the high road is an option."

"Thank you," she croaked. "Gordon, we should probably head up to Doc's."

"Sure. Let's rock."

-o0o-

They turned the corner on the main road.

"This looks like the doctor's office," he said.

"Yep. It looks like he's in."

"Well, let's find out the mystery, shall we?"

Doc Hayward had no clue. He held tuning forks to Gordon's ear, adjusted his hearing aid, everything. Gordon's ears were completely covered in scar tissue from his long ago illness. He put Shelly behind the curtain and told her to talk. Gordon held a conversation with her just fine, but could hear nothing else. Even Doc Hayward's clapping right behind him went undetected.

"MR. COLE, THE ONLY THING I CAN FIGURE OUT HERE IS THAT SHELLY JOHNSON IS VERY SPECIAL, AND YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO WHAT SHE SAYS."

"MY UNCLE WAS A SHRINER! WHY ON EARTH WOULD SHELLY WEAR A FEZ? GOOD GRIEF, WHAT KIND OF CRAZY DOCTOR ARE YOU?"

Shelly smiled sheepishly at Doc Hayward.

"Are you doing okay, Shelly?" he asked her in private. "That must have been quite a bruise on your eye. It's clearing up okay. Next time come see me, okay?"

"I'm okay now, Doctor. Thanks for helping my friend."

"I'm not sure what help I did. Don't worry about a fee. I found this entertaining. Who IS this guy?"

"Agent Cole. He's Agent Cooper's boss."

"I see. Well, have a good time."

"I will."

_Doc Hayward watched as they left. Poor Shelly Johnson. He'd stitched her face up once. Pretty good job of it…you could barely see the scar. But Shelly's makeup expertise had hidden much more. It was clear Leo beat her – he was glad she never had children with him. He remembered her when she was just a sweet little girl, extremely bright. How disappointed he was to hear she'd dropped out of school. He couldn't figure out why she was with this FBI agent, of all people, but he liked him._

-o0o-

Gordon and Shelly started walking back toward the Double R.

"Amazing scenery in this town."

"I suppose so. I've been thinking about what you just said to me on the walk up. I'd like to see more of the world so I can appreciate it better. It feels like a trap sometimes. I've always wanted to visit somewhere interesting, like Greece or England."

He looked down at her and studied her face. The sad look had returned.

"Here."

He scrawled numbers on his business card. He pressed it gently in her hand.

"This is my direct line and my home number. I'm hardly ever home, so it's usually the office number. Unfortunately, I'm unsure as to how long I will be _here_. I wish it could be forever, but alas, duty will call soon. I hope you call sooner."

"Oh." Her face fell. She had been having such a nice time with Gordon.

"Don't worry, Shelly. I'll be back. I want you to think about this good and hard. I would love to give you a hand."

"I can't…"

"We'll talk about that later. I must say, I really enjoyed this excursion and getting to know you. I wish we could continue tonight, but I must meet Agent Cooper at the Great Northern and see how the spee-lunking went. Shall we do this again soon?"

Shelly nodded.

"I like you very much, Shelly Johnson."

Shelly grinned. "I like you, too."

"Okay. It's a date."

"Do you need a ride home?" he asked.

"No, I have a car."

"Okay."

_The thought had crossed her mind to just ride out there with Gordon, and spend some extra time alone, but she decided against it. She didn't want Gordon to see where she lived, in the middle of nowhere, with Bobby lurking around and Leo sitting there slobbering like a slug. Her mind was reeling. College. Yeah, eff Bobby and his get-rich-quick schemes. _

Gordon gave her a strong hug. She hugged back. His hearing aids whistled. Her hair smelled really nice.

-o0o-

_Sure enough, the next morning Gordon got word from Diane that he would have to head back to Seattle. He decided to load up on some pie before leaving. Coffee for the 3-hour trip. He didn't want to leave without saying goodbye to Shelly, not after the long talk they'd had. He thought about her the whole time he packed. He put aside those fleeting selfish visions of taking her back to his hotel…no. Not this time. Shelly was special. He wanted nothing more than to see that sad smile of hers vanish. He saw it flash away as he wove his tales of bravery…most of them sort of true…and it lightened his heart a little. If only she could just branch out a little. She was a wonderful mystery._

An hour later, he strode in the diner. Shelly was already waiting at the booth for him in a gorgeous sheer blouse, denim miniskirt, and black chemise. They were the only customers.

"Holllly smokes! You are a vision of loveliness," he gasped, as he sat across from her.

"Oh, don't be silly."

"Bless you. I brought you an excerpt from my epic pie poem I promised. Let me read it to you. NORMA, THIS IS ABOUT YOU, TOO."

Shelly giggled. "Okay…."

He pulled out the diner napkin that he'd scrawled upon the previous afternoon. Norma hovered over the counter to listen as Gordon read with thundering drama.

"I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD UP AND DIE,

WHEN I FIRST DID GORGE ON NORMA'S PIE.

THE TOP WAS LATTICED IN A GRID SO MERRY,

ITS FLAVOR: TART AND TANGY CHERRY.

IT RESTS SO SWEET INSIDE MY BELLY,

SERVED TO ME BY MY SWEETHEART, SHELLY.

THE PACK IT PUNCHED! WHAT A KICK!

I ATE SO MUCH IT MADE ME SICK!

I FEARED I SHOULD BE THOUGHT A HOG

BY THE SCOWLING LADY WITH THE LOG."

Norma and Shelly roared with laughter. Epic, it was indeed.

"GORDON, I WOULD LOVE A COPY OF THIS," shouted Norma.

"YOU GOT IT, MY DEAR. I HAVE IT MEMORIZED, SO HERE'S MY NAPKIN."

Norma tacked it on the ice cream machine. She'd have it printed up later.

_Shelly hadn't laughed so hard in ages. Gordon was great. As he animatedly talked about taking down a criminal, she wondered fleetingly what he would be like in bed. Or at least if he was a good kisser. She shouldn't let her mind wander there. _

Agent Cooper and Annie arrived some time later, as well as a few more diners. The Log Lady, unknowingly the subject of scorn in the Epic Pie Poem, ordered meatloaf and broccoli.

Shelly thought Annie and Dale Cooper looked really cute together. Gordon swung around next to Shelly. She was highly conscious of his body pressed against hers in the booth; it made her heart beat a little faster. He ordered three slices of pie for everyone and asked if she'd share with him. She smiled and nodded. She kept thinking about the hilarious poem. Annie would get a great kick out of it.

He shouted to Agent Cooper something about her being a "rare and precious individual." She sat there, slightly embarrassed, but enjoying the amusing chat.

_It was clear as a bell to Agent Cooper that his friend Gordon was absolutely smitten. He'd chosen wisely. Shelly Johnson was a nice girl – a little misguided, but very sweet. Yes, this was a good thing. He sipped his coffee and enjoyed Gordon's crazy wooing._

Gordon loudly announced how much of a miracle Shelly was. It was a little embarrassing, but he was so earnest that she didn't mind.

Suddenly Gordon turned to her and said he had to leave, but he wanted to kiss her before he left. In front of everyone? Yikes. Sure. She leaned in for a kiss, but got startled by the bell and sudden shouting.

Bobby stomped over to them, rage over his face. Just like…. Oh, shit.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

"YOU ARE WITNESSING A FRONT THREE-QUARTER VIEW OF TWO ADULTS SHARING A TENDER MOMENT!"

Shelly froze. God.

Gordon turned to Shelly with a delighted smirk.

"Acts like he's never seen a kiss before."

Agent Cooper tried to explain to Gordon who he was, but Gordon either couldn't hear, or was having none of it.

"TAKE ANOTHER LOOK, SONNY, IT'S GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN!"

Gordon leaned in and kissed her fully. Electricity zapped through her. It was a brief kiss, almost chaste, a flicker of tongue brushing against her lips…wow. Wow. Talk about knocking off socks. This guy was good. Shelly felt a little woozy and hoped the others wouldn't notice her breathing faster. All she could think about was THAT.

Bobby stomped out in anger.

"WHO ON EARTH WAS THAT NITWIT?" he shouted. The others in the diner started laughing, except the Log Lady, who placidly continued with her meatloaf.

"BOBBY BRIGGS," yelled Agent Cooper.

"Ah, THAT is young Bobby. I KNEW IT." He whirled toward Shelly. "Him? Really? You can do better." He raised and lowered his eyebrows quickly. Agent Cooper and Annie laughed.

"I'm…actually glad you did that." Shelly felt her face turn fifty shades of red.

"That makes two of us. And I'll do it again…another day. Remember that kiss always, Shelly, it was a reeeeal zinger. COOP, THAT WAS WHAT YOU CALL MY FINEST MOVES. TAKE A NOTE FROM THE MASTER."

"I COULDN'T AGREE MORE, GORDON!" He flashed the thumbs up.

After they'd finished the massive quantities of pie, Coop and Annie lingered around with them for close to a half hour; small talking, shouting at Gordon. Finally, Gordon looked at his watch.

"GONNA HAVE TO MOTOR, FRIENDS. JUST WHEN I WAS HAVING THE MOST FUN."

They all stood up. Gordon shook Annie and Agent Cooper's hands, then bear hugged Shelly with his usual gusto.

"I'll see you soon, Shelly," he whispered in her ear. "I mean that. Don't forget me."

"I had fun. I'm going to miss you."

"Next time I'm in town, we can go stargazing or bird watching or dance a hot tango."

"Or we can just talk again by the bridge."

"Absolutely. But for pete's sake just don't get married again, especially to that nitwit."

"I won't. I think I've learned my lesson, Gordon." She laughed uncomfortably.

"You're going to be fine, Shelly Johnson. Trust me. And I'll be in touch. Call me anytime if you need anything.

"I'm so glad we met."

"Words to thrill by."

Shelly's eyes never left him as he smiled, blew a massive kiss at her and the other ladies at the diner, and left. What a crazy, weird, happy time.

Agent Cooper went into the bathroom – he had drunk at least 4 cups of coffee – and Annie slumped back in the booth with her.

"Opportunities, eh?" Annie teased, as she forked another piece of pie. "That guy is hilarious."

"Wait until you read Gordon's epic pie poem," laughed Shelly. "Better yet, I'll read it out loud to you." She ran over to the ice cream machine.

Annie hadn't laughed so hard in a long time.

"I don't know, Shelly, he seems like a keeper. If you don't mind me being too forward, I think you're too smart for that Bobby guy."

Shelly got quiet.

-o0o-

The next week was a whirlwind. Bobby was furious about the public humiliation and halfassedly proposed to her, right in the diner. Shelly didn't know what to say. She was flattered, but after she thought about it for a few days, decided it was absurd. Bobby was a kid. Leo was still very much alive. No. No way. This was insane.

Bobby made a constant pest of himself, scheming and whatnot, flaunting their relationship in front of Leo. It was too dangerous. And wrong. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. A couple of days later, she told him gently that she needed her space, and that he should find someone else.

"It's that old police guy, isn't it? The one you were making out with? I saw you, you loved it. You stupid little whore."

"Get out."

"I will. I FUCKING WILL! Hope you like old dick. You're missing out." He knocked over a stool and punched the juke box on the way out. Wanda Jackson started blaring out of nowhere. The Log Lady asked for more gravy.

Shelly's eyes brimmed with tears. So that was it. She finally saw him for who he was. A selfish, spoiled bully. She'd been so stupid.

_You don't get your way, you hit things. Sounds like Leo taught you more than I bargained for._

Norma came over and held her while she cried. No more bad boys, she vowed. That was it. She needed a change.


	2. Chapter 2

Leo Johnson, in his catatonic vegetable state, had disappeared.

Shelly was terrified when she discovered him gone. She had no idea what it meant. Was he kidnapped? Did Bobby usher him somewhere? Had he come to and was waiting for the best time to finally finish her off?

Shelly reported the disappearance immediately. Sheriff Truman understood her situation better than probably anyone else, and his concern for her well-being brought him to the conclusion to put her under protective custody of the sheriff's department until Leo Johnson was found or determined not to be an immediate threat. They arranged for a room for her in the Great Northern.

Deputy Hawk drove her back and forth between the hotel and the diner. Hawk was terrible at knock-knock jokes.

-o0o-

Several days later, Leo Johnson was found dead in a cabin deep in the woods. Doc Hayward had confirmed that Leo was unfit to move or think for himself, and they realized that Windom Earle had brought him out there to clear a path to possibly go after his wife next.

Gordon Cole had been called back to Twin Peaks to investigate the Windom Earle connection. A piece of paper had been found under Leo's fingernail that spelled out CHKMATE. Everything pointed to Earle: the elabourate spider cage, the mechanical setup. Cole admitted this was a new kind of power play on Earle's part, and he had to admit that although he was relieved that Leo Johnson would never again torture Shelly, Windom Earle was another story.

"THIS IS VERY BAD," shouted Truman. "WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THAT EARLE HAS BEEN STAKING OUT THE DINER AND THAT SHELLY JOHNSON IS TARGETED NEXT."

Gordon put his finger to his lips and wrote on a napkin.

"Earle may have bugged the office," it read, "we will discuss this in the car."

In the car, Truman and Cole agreed to keep Shelly in the Great Northern, and move her to a room adjacent to Gordon Cole until Windom Earle was caught. Cole couldn't bear to think of Shelly Johnson ending up like any of the other Blue Rose cases.

In bad humor, Truman playfully warned Cole to "behave himself," but Cole's sense of humor had evaporated.

"DON'T WORRY, SHERIFF, THE FEAR OF A PSYCHOPATH IS A REAL ROMANCE KILLER."

-o0o-

Shelly's face lit up when she saw Gordon enter the diner with Sheriff Truman and Deputy Hawk, but their faces alarmed her. This time, the sheriff's hat was in his hand. They looked very solemn.

"I'm sorry, Shelly. Your husband was….found in the forest this morning," said Sheriff Truman.

Gordon, as if expecting her physical reaction, put his hand on Shelly's arm, and gently took the pot of hot decaf from her hand, which was by now shaking uncontrollably.

She wobbled side to side.

"How?" she finally croaked.

Sheriff Truman cleared his throat.

"It appears he was murdered. "

Shelly crumpled toward the floor. Gordon, with the reflexes of a cat, caught her. She slumped awkwardly against his arms and shook. She had no idea what was going on. She was so stunned by the news that her reactions made no sense as they happened to her.

"Shelly, since you're Leo's next of kin, we're going to need you to come down and formally identify the body, and we have to take you back to your location immediately. It's too dangerous for you to be here. Do you need anyone with you at the station? Bobby Briggs? Norma?" said Sheriff Truman.

Shelly broke away and stared off into space. Her throat filled with a dry lumpy feeling. Visions flew through her head of the violent night he tried to set her on fire, the night he beat her savagely, the constant shoving, the burns. She didn't know what to do…laugh…sob…continue in silence. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she spoke.

"No."

Gordon rubbed her shoulder.

"Shelly, you only need a quick look. I'll be with you."

"Okay. Okay."

_Before heading to the diner, Sheriff Truman had already loudly corroborated Shelly's awful stories with Agent Cole, including the attempted murder. He couldn't figure out why Shelly had never reported Leo's attacks._

"QUITE SIMPLE, SHERIFF. TERROR. GUY LIKE THAT, THERE'S ALWAYS A CHANCE HE COULD GET HER. I'VE SEEN IT BEFORE. HATE TO SPEAK ILL OF THE DEAD, BUT LEO JOHNSON SOUNDED LIKE HE WAS KOOKOO BANANAS."

_He had that right, thought Truman._

-o0o-

_The ride to the morgue was slow and surreal for Shelly. Gordon sat in the back seat with her. She stared out the window. Relief? Sadness? Anger? It all flashed over her face. She began to shake again as they neared the sheriff's office. Gordon took her hand. She clenched it tightly and didn't let go until they reached the morgue. Sheriff Truman pulled back the sheet solemnly._

Leo was dead. She stared at his poisoned corpse. He was puffy and almost black.

_Now that he was really gone, she couldn't process it. Those terrifying times where he would beat the crap out of her. Threaten her with death. This was the ultimate irony. She'd outlived this bastard. She'd survived. _

As she silently observed Leo's body, Gordon and Sheriff Truman stood in the corner and respectfully let her act out. She walked closer, looking in Leo's open, dead eyes with a strange curiosity. Tears welled in her eyes. The past four years had been utter torture. She never wanted this again.

She turned around and wearily put her hand on Gordon's shoulder.

"It's him. Of course it's him. It's over. He can never hurt me again."

"Perhaps. Let's not allow it."

"That could have been me on the table."

"Shelly, we have to get you in a safe place immediately," said Cole, tersely.

They left the room. Truman shut off the light.

-o0o-

Shelly was moved to Room 34, a large suite, in the Great Northern, with Agent Cole. Hawk kept watch over her during the day. He mostly just read fishing magazines, but she caught up on some reading. The librarians at Twin Peaks Library had certainly been puzzled by Deputy Hawk's sudden checkout pile of Jane Austen books, but Shelly was happy to do something while stuck in the hotel.

She spent her evenings with Gordon, who was next door. Gordon taught her how to play chess. She enjoyed it, and even beat him at one game. She said he let her win, but in all honesty, Gordon, a master chess player himself, had no idea how she beat him. Shelly wouldn't have been able to explain her mastery of strategy, but most of it came from years of anticipating Leo's next moves. Chess was a piece of cake when she thought of each of her opponents as little Leos. Gordon told her more stories of bravery.

Shelly konked out on the sofa one night as Gordon and Agent Cooper sat up writing field reports. Cooper noticed Gordon kept looking over her way, and he felt some compassion for his friend. Gordon had it really bad for Shelly, more than his last two dalliances. He knew Gordon was too straight-laced to really do anything about it at this point, but he sort of hoped in the back of his head that it might work out eventually.

-o0o-

In the ensuing days, they eventually found Windom Earle's body in Glastonbury Grove. It appeared to be natural causes, but it was very curious and disturbing. His face was locked in terror, as if he had died of fright. Gordon hadn't officially mentioned this, but it shook him to the core: his hunch was correct. Earle's hands clutched a photograph of Shelly Johnson. On his body was a strange, burned scar shaped like the Owl Cave symbol. Shelly would indeed have been his next victim.

"Shelly, I fear the time has come to part. I have to go again tomorrow morning. I've enjoyed our delightful chess nights."

"So have I. Promise you will come back soon?"

Gordon took her hand and kissed it.

"I will come as soon as I can. I can't stay away from you for long, can I? But this is very important, Shelly – you need some time to yourself to let things settle. Get things in order. But you can call me anytime."

-o0o-

Several months later, Shelly sat on the front porch of her house and drank a beer for the first time in ages. She couldn't bear being alone anymore. She had to escape this shithole. No more ghosts.

The house had been finished up by Big Ed and Norma's friends. It looked much better, but she'd decided to rent it out and start school and see where that went.

The house and truck were indeed hers, but she no longer wanted to live out here in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by these awful ghosts. The night terrors were the worst.

She sent Leo's ashes to the four winds alone one sunny morning, and scattered them in a field far out of town, with no tears, no ceremony. She felt a twinge of pity that no one else was there, but Leo had pushed everyone away. For a minute she'd considered flushing him down the toilet, but decided that was too cruel, even for Leo. Owls hooted in the distance as he flew away in dust.

She thought about what Gordon had told her about college. One day, Norma sauntered up to her with a sly smile. Gordon had sent Shelly a funny postcard from Yakima, which came to the diner. It was a hand drawn card of a rabbit shooting with one of those old time cameras and another rabbit saying "Say carrots!"

_Alright, I can take a hint, she thought. I'll call Gordon._

She dialed the office number. It made her a little nervous since she hadn't talked to him in 4 months, but he had told her to call anytime. A woman picked it up and screamed at Gordon to take a call.

"YES, DIANE, THAT'S FINE. I WILL TAKE THE CALL. PLEASE SHUT MY DOOR. THIS IS PERSONAL, PRIVATE BUSINESS."

Shelly giggled at the overheard exchange. He got on the line and she could almost hear him smiling.

"Shelly."

"Hi Gordon."

"I'm so glad to hear your voice."

"I'M GLAD SOMEONE CAN!" shouted Diane. He couldn't hear her.

"Hi, Gordon. It's good to hear you, too."

"I've wanted to call you so badly. I hope you're okay?"

"Yes. I'm really good. I got your postcard!"

"I hope you found it perfectly delightful."

"I did. I'm calling because I was wondering if you would be available anytime soon."

"I have vacation time coming up this weekend, as a matter of fact."

"Would you like to…do something?"

"Shelly, you are a goddess. I was hoping you would call me, and you have made my day. Actually, I will be about 20 miles from Twin Peaks this week. I can fetch you. Let me whisk you out of there and let's have a humdinger of a time."

"I would love that!"

"I will fetch you on Saturday evening at 6 PM."

"Yes. There is something I need to do, that I want you there for. A burning party."

"Excellent. I highly approve of this notion. I will be delighted to attend."

"See you Saturday, Gordon."

_Shelly got off the phone and grinned foolishly for the first time since that night in the diner. The sound of his high, goofy voice had lifted her spirits enormously. This certainly did not get past Norma's observation._

"Shelly. That's decaf."

"Sorry."

_Gordon sat there, stunned. She'd called him. _

-o0o-

That Saturday, Shelly surveyed the house. The sooner she left it, the better. Such awful memories here, she thought. She gathered up what little she had left of her own, that Leo hadn't destroyed, and put them in a cardboard box. Not much, was there? Oh well, they were just things. A photo of her old cat, Smokey, the one Leo had accidentally 'found' dead (she suspected antifreeze). A fern plant. Her granny's cookbooks. Her new camera outfit.

Shelly had managed to sell off the truck quite quickly. Leo had kept it in good repair, and it was worth a great deal of money. Enough to pay for most of her college tuition, even. She was thrilled to see it go. That awful reminder of terror.

She hauled out the rest of Leo's belongings: his stupid Slayer records, his smelly shirts, his CRAP, and she piled it all up in the backyard. The sun shone brightly in the afternoon sky. It was bright, but brisk…perfect weather. The perfect day for a new beginning. The lighter fluid can felt heavy in her hand.

She heard Gordon's car arrive, exactly on time. He stepped out, in a turtleneck and a Pendleton cardigan. He looked great, if somewhat professorial. He smiled at her and handed her a single white carnation. She blushed.

"For you!"

"Oh, Gordon. Thank you. What should I do with it?"

"Anything you like. But I think it would look pretty in your hair."

"Would you?"

"My pleasure." He pinned the carnation in her braid with one of her bobby pins. The effect was charming.

"Now…what's this?" he asked, waving his hand at the giant pile.

"Burn party. Like I said. It's all going up in flames."

"Always did like a good bonfire. Reminds me of my Boy Scout days. May I give some advice?"

"Sure." She piled more and more on the pyre.

"Build yourself little pockets of oxygen so it burns faster."

She doused lighter fluid on the rest of Leo's junk.

"I brought out lawn chairs," she said. "Thought it would be a nice show."

"Great idea!"

She went in the kitchen and brought out a couple of beers. She cracked one open for him, one for her, and they clinked.

Shelly lit the fire and watched Leo's pathetic, bullying life blaze up before her. The color was gorgeous. She sat next to Gordon and looked over at him. He was staring into it, slowly sipping the beer. He was very quiet.

"Do you really think I can do this?" she finally asked, softly.

"Of course you can."

"I'm scared."

"Would you rather be scared of what you can accomplish, or of someone else?"

"You're right."

"So what's next for Shelly Johnson?"

"I'm moving. I don't know where just yet, but I can take a hint. It's time for me to move."

"How about Seattle?"

"It had crossed my mind."

"You will love it."

"I want to start school as soon as I can. I'm gonna have to start looking in the classifieds for a small apartment. I'm too old for dorms," she giggled. "I've sold Leo's truck, and I'm renting out the house for some income, so I don't have to wait tables anymore. Norma found someone to live out here, someone who wanted to have a nice garden. Someone else should give that place happier memories." She trailed off. "I just want to start over."

"I understand that feeling, Shelly."

"Have you ever had someone special?"

"Oh yeah. A long time ago."

"I'm sorry it didn't work."

"I was, too. I was too young. Left me for someone who could hear after I pulled through the scarlet fever."

"That's awful."

"For me, not her. She married some bozo named Greg and has a couple of kids. I got a house and never filled it."

"That's sad."

"Well…I'm never home, but when I am, I like to relax there and read or paint. It can be a little empty, though."

"I know that feeling. When you're lost with your thoughts and memories. I can't sit in my own kitchen without feeling that sense of dread. Or sleep in my room without being haunted by Leo trying to hurt me. I want to leave this house behind forever."

"Well, come stay with me until you get things in order."

"I am taking you up on the offer."

Shelly scootched closer to Gordon and he put his arm around her. They sat that way for a few minutes as the last of Leo's junk burned away. Always the former Boy Scout, Gordon doused the dregs of the fire with some water from the rain barrel and they went inside.

Gordon had been driving all day, and after watching part of the late movie he fell asleep on the sofa. Poor Gordon was so exhausted that she decided it would be best to get him comfortable and let him sleep overnight. She gently took out his hearing aids and laid them on the table. She covered him with an afghan and kissed him on the forehead before going to bed.

She woke up early, used to a morning schedule, and Gordon awoke to the fragrant smell of frying bacon and fresh black coffee. Shelly WAS the woman of his dreams, after all.

"HOLY MOLEY. I have the worst manners," he shouted. "Allow me to apologize for my disgusting behavior last night. It was not my intention to konk out on your sofa like a hobo."

"Bacon's ready," smiled Shelly.

"Would you like to accompany me to the city this lovely day, Shelly Johnson?" Gordon said, his mouth full of toast and bacon.

Shelly smiled.

"I thought you'd never ask!"


	3. Chapter 3

-o0o-

The drive to Seattle was pleasant. Shelly hadn't been there since she was a kid, and Gordon enjoyed pointing out places along the way. She particularly enjoyed seeing the orchard farmstand that Gordon's grandparents had started. His cousin Randy still operated it, he said.

"When they're in season, that's where you can get the most marvelous apples the state has to offer," he said, "Tart and tangy with a hint of sweetness; a texture that makes your mouth sing and your heart float in the ether."

"You must really like apples."

"I like the experience of an apple. Taste is only part of it. When you're a small child and you learn about the connections of the land and the people through plants, you pay attention to your surroundings in a different way."

"I think fear can do that to people, too."

"Yes. I think, when you start doing your photography, you need to tap into lots of different awareness paths. Pay attention to feelings. The best place to be creative is in your own safe space, where you can think about those things and maybe express them somehow, but still have a safety net. You can't be creative when you're scared."

"No. Though I did like the picture I'd taken of Leo. I put it on the TV. He said I made him look retarded, but honestly, I don't think any of that was my doing. Do you do artwork or anything?"

"I dabble. I started my job as a sketch artist until I lost my hearing. Sometimes I draw and paint, but I haven't had much time. Or a muse."

"I'd love to see your work."

"I'd be honored."

-o0o-

After a nice bite to eat at the Merchants Café, they decided to let dinner settle and take a walk. The city was gorgeous – a rare clear night with no rain. Shelly was in bliss.

"It must be good to get out and do something different," he said. "Are you having a nice time?"

"You know, it's so long since I've just aimlessly wandered with nowhere to go. Leo had me so afraid to leave the house for so long, I'd forgotten how to just relax."

They stopped inside an antiques store. She'd never gone to one before, but there were so many pretty things inside. She gasped when she saw a pair of earrings – bright green ones. The tag said they were almost 100 years old. She wondered who wore them once upon a time. Some fancy lady, perhaps. She toyed with them in the mirror for a minute, liking the effect. She put them down and wandered around some more, taking in the sights, imagining the things in her own home someday. She laughed as Gordon shouted at the shopkeeper, asking a billion questions, making the poor lady shout in turn.

A photo student happened to be in the antique shop with them, and found them an intriguing pair. She asked if she could photograph them for a school project, and promised to send copies. Gordon happily agreed, and opted to stand next to a taxidermied moose head. Shelly looped her arm through his, and started laughing at the absurdity of the pose.

CLICK.

-o0o-

After nearly an hour, the shopkeeper gently told her it was getting near closing time, so they took off. Gordon asked Shelly if she'd like to go back home for a glass of wine.

Half an hour later, Shelly sat on the sofa, third glass of wine in hand, and surveyed Gordon's home. A darling 1920s bungalow with eclectic furniture. It was cheerful, but very…lonely…in this house.

"This is a lovely place."

"I'm happy you're here. I hope you had fun today."

"I did. I can't remember ever feeling this relaxed in my life, except when I was reading a book."

"You needed it, Shelly."

She walked over to him and gave him a hug. They stood there, holding each other for a minute or so. He stroked her back gently as her head fell comfortably on his shoulders. Gordon felt his chest swell with those bumblebees again. He looked down. Close up, in this light, he could see another scar on her face. It looked as if she'd once been slashed. His face clouded at the thought.

She grew flushed.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I think the wine's gone to my head."

"Don't be." He tenderly kissed her. He stroked her cheek with his fingers softly. She felt them get hot and red under his touch. He looked at her like an inquisitive bird, with a hint of a smile, but after what seemed like an eternity, he spoke.

"I don't want to complicate anything for you right now. Not while you're getting things together."

"I…I know." She felt frustrated. Her entire body was screaming for him to take her. She wanted Gordon more than anything in the world at that very moment.

He pulled her to the sofa again and he put his arm around her. She laid her head on his chest, listening to his heart pounding. She put her hand on it as he stroked her hair. This was sweet, she thought.

-o0o-

_He was right. Hopping into bed would be a bad idea right now. She really just wanted to be held. She felt something inside her that she'd never felt with Leo or Bobby: a deep desire to almost…protect this man. It seemed funny, since he was an agent and older and everything, but his baldfaced earnestness just seemed like it needed kindness as much as she did. Despite his silliness, she recognized a vulnerability to him, too. She wanted his touch so badly. _

"I feel safe with you, Gordon."

"You are, mostly."

"Mostly?" She locked lips with him. He cupped the back of her head in his hands and stroked his hair.

"We're moving into dangerous territory, Shelly Johnson."

"I'm used to being in trouble."

They kissed passionately on the sofa. He laid on top of her as she wrapped her legs around him tightly. He loosened his tie as they collapsed into each other's arms. As things heated up, Gordon said breathlessly as they sat up,

"We have to stop. Before we do something regrettable."

"I…you're right."

"If we move too fast, this thing we have is going to implode."

"I don't want that."

"Then let's slow down and just enjoy this."

He smiled at her, with crinkling eyes. Shelly settled her head into his chest some more. His body was warm. His arms strong. He smelled like clean laundry. She drifted off to sleep in the crook of his arm, against his heart, as he watched the fire burn to embers. No terrors. No nightmares.

-o0o-

He later carried her to his bedroom and tucked her in gently. She stirred and woke.

"Where am I?"

"Shh. Get some sleep, dear. I'll see you in the morning."

She smiled sleepily and drifted off again.

She dreamt heavily that night, that she was back in the house Leo had built.

_The broom closet door was ajar. She went to close it. Behind her it grew dark. She felt Leo's presence and began to panic. The fluorescent light in the kitchen began to fritz out. She turned around. _

_Leo appeared, lying as a corpse on the kitchen table. A beam of light shone upon him as he lay peacefully. A Giant appeared, ghostly, wearing suspenders and a white shirt. He spoke _

"_He will see you no more."_

_The Giant gestured slowly toward the broom closet door. Shelly did not feel fear anymore. She noticed a crack of light in the back wall of the closet. When she pushed upon it, a trap door opened. She went through it and found herself in a white room, pure white, surrounded by white velvet curtains. There were three chairs and a statue of the Venus de Milo arranged as if it were a living room. Sitting on one chair was Leo, dressed in an all-white tuxedo covered in blood. In a second chair, sat Bobby, dressed in a white turtleneck and white pants, his nose covered in white powder. In the third chair sat Gordon, just plain old Gordon in his regular suit, placidly twiddling his thumbs and smiling. They all stared at her as she walked up to Gordon, straddled his lap, and kissed him tenderly. When the kiss was over, she looked at the others. They had disappeared. The Man From Another Place walked into the room and spoke to her in his odd backwards talk:_

"_I think you will like the butterscotch."_

-o0o-

Shelly woke to the heavenly smell of frying sausage the next morning. She looked around. A very strange dream indeed. She was in Gordon's bed. She had a vague memory of him tucking her in. The room was sparsely furnished with old-fashioned furniture. A painting of an elderly woman hung on the wall. She wondered if it was one of Gordon's paintings. It was very detailed. She looked like she was kindly.

She found the bathroom and washed up. Gordon had laid out some towels and a clean bathrobe for her. She laughed at how much bigger it was on her, but it felt comfortable, like a hug. It smelled fresh.

Twenty minutes later, feeling much better, she came downstairs to a wonderful breakfast. Gordon was standing at the stove in a black t-shirt and plaid pyjama pants, dumping a pat or two of butter into a skillet. It was very different from the suits. His hair, normally slicked back, was flying all over his head in a crazed pompadour. He looked ridiculous…and a little adorable.

"Good morning, sweetheart! Hope you're hungry! Sit!"

He placed an omelette and sausage patties in front of her. It looked delicious.

"I didn't know you could cook!"

"I like a good meal. Feeds the soul."

She dove into breakfast. She was starving. It was divine. He'd made her a nice cup of coffee, too. He sat next to her as they ate in silence.

"Gordon, this is incredible." He slugged back a forkful.

"Not bad! Not bad at all."

"I could write an epic poem about this omelette!"

"I wish you would!"

"So…tell me more about your family – do you have one?"

Gordon responded with his mouth full, then swallowed.

"Sorry. Forgot my manners. Mom. She was a sweet, sweet lady. I miss her every day. She died when I was 10, and then my grandma came to live with us to help raise us. Mom had gotten rheumatic fever as a kid and her heart gave out at the grocery store. My dad gave up farming. He died a couple of years ago.

"Oh. God."

He walked into the living room foyer and brought in a small photo album.

"This was her high school graduation photo, right before my dad came back from basic training. I was a glorious surprise some months later. So was the wedding, I hear."

"You look a lot like her. And the painting of the lady upstairs…your grandmother?"

"Thank you. Yes. I painted that in school. Teachers hated it."

Shelly smiled and nodded.

"I have a kid sister in Spokane. Francine. Grandma nicknamed her "Fudge" because she was sweet but a little nuts. She and her husband have two little girls, Molly and Polly. Twins. They're seven." He produced a photo of them. They were darling. Gordon loved his nieces.

"They're cuties. I send them drawings all the time. Rabbits. Don't know why I draw them, but it keeps me amused. I got tired of drawing killers and rapists, anyway. Rabbits are fun."

Gordon asked her what she'd like to do, now that she was in Seattle.

"Would you…I hate to ask, but would you consider helping me find an apartment close to school?"

"I know a few people in the area renting out apartments. Mrs. Perkins might have one. I think we can find you something. You good for a down payment?"

"Leo's truck will keep me going for a while."

"I'm glad to hear it. Let's find you something special."

-o0o-

They found a place not terribly far from Gordon's neighborhood, but far enough for her to establish a life of her own. It was darling. Pre-war, with arched doors and even a little telephone nook in the wall. The walls were painted brightly in yellow, coral and teal. She signed a lease with Mrs. Perkins, an elderly lady with cats-eye glasses and a beehive hairdo.

"MRS. PERKINS, I CAN ATTEST TO THE FACT THAT THIS LOVELY YOUNG LADY WILL BE A STELLAR TENANT. YOU HAVE MY WORD."

"YES! I BELIEVE YOU," shouted Mrs. Perkins.

"Mr. Cole sure loves baked goods," she said, to Shelly, smiling.

"Tell me about it. We met over pie," she said.

"He's a bit loud, but his heart's in the right place. I can tell he likes you!"

"I like him, too. I'm glad to meet you. Is it alright if I pay a full six months' rent ahead of time?"

"My goodness, dear. Of course."

"I just want to start off on the right foot."

-o0o-

Shelly didn't have much of her own furniture, so over the next week, Gordon took her to secondhand stores. Finally, she could spend her own money on things she liked. She found a cheap antique bed, a pretty old fashioned sofa, and some lamps. The bathroom had no windows, which made her happy – she would be able to develop her photos there.

During the day, she explored the city, took in museums, had bites to eat in coffee shops, got a library card. Seattle was pretty cool. She started taking photos. She loved telling Gordon what she'd seen. He was enjoying her new stories, as well.

Gordon let her stay with him until she got settled in her new place, but they mutually agreed to refrain from anything dangerous. Evenings by the fire, pleasant conversation, chess games, sharing of ideas and plans for Shelly's school adventure. Shelly realized for the first time in her life, she was falling in love with someone.

Gordon eventually showed her more of his work. His portrait work was exquisite – almost luminous. He asked her one afternoon if he could do a painting of her. She giggled, but decided it would be fun. She posed for him with her hair up, standing beside the window with beautiful soft natural light. He worked quickly on sketches, and then told her that he'd finish it in secret. He'd remember every detail later.

Shelly enrolled in the community college, which actually had a darkroom, something that delighted her. She'd been having such a fun time with Gordon, she forgot that sometimes he had to leave for stretches at a time. Finally, a few nights later he made the announcement, as they checked out a photo gallery downtown.

"Shelly, I have to go on assignment for a few months near the coast. I probably won't be back until mid-November. Maybe later."

"Oh. Yes, of course."

"Get settled in the meantime. Make some friends. Enjoy putting together your new home. I'll leave you my number in case there's an emergency, and if something happens on my end, I'll leave instructions for Diane to call you. But I think this time to yourself will do you wonderful good."

The next hour or two at the gallery and subsequent wander was a little forlorn, but it would be Shelly's first night at her own apartment. She was excited about it. Gordon walked her to her stoop.

"You know, Gordon…this is the first time I've ever been truly alone."

"I do know. I think you might like it."

"Thank you. Thank you so much for doing this for me."

"I'll be back before you know it, sweetheart, lickety split."

He put his hand to her face and ran his thumb over her lips before gently kissing them. He fished in his pocket.

"Oh, before I leave, I have something for you. A housewarming present for your new abode."

"You didn't have to…"

"Oh, I didn't have to spend anything." He winked.

He handed her a small envelope. Inside was the photo the art student had shot of them at the antiques store. She smiled. They looked so happy and sweet. They were looking at each other, standing under that crazy dead moose, with two goofy grins on their faces. Gordon's hearing aid was clipped to his sweater, as usual, and Shelly was laughing at him, a white carnation in her hair. She remembered the weird pose, but the picture said something else. Pure joy. She'd never seen it on her own face before.

"I love it."

"Me too. Luckily, we won't have to fight for it. She sent two." He opened his wallet, and inside was his own copy. "Good luck, Shelly Johnson. I'll be back as soon as I can."

He smooched her cheek, spun on his heels, and walked up the street, leaving Shelly to set up her new life.


	4. Chapter 4

Shelly sat at the kitchen table, banging out a paper on an old electric typewriter she'd found at the Salvation Army. Classes were going really well. Her first English comp paper had received an A-, the first she'd ever gotten in her life. She got a C in her math class, but she outshone everyone in her photo classes. Shelly's bathroom had a clothesline in it with drying prints. They were looking better and better. The people in them fascinated her. She'd taken to street photography, and her haunting pieces blew away her teacher. One night she took her aside and told her her work was reminiscent of Diane Arbus. Shelly had no idea who Arbus was, but she must have been good. Her teacher had given her a number to call for a local gallery. The owner had noticed her work in the class show.

Actually _being_ in school felt weird. She was older than most of her classmates. Been through a lifetime more, and it showed. She'd made friends with an outgoing girl named Brenda, who was another photographer. It was nice to have a friend with some direction. A couple of guys had asked her out, but she politely turned them away.

It had been a long while she'd seen Gordon Cole. She figured he was probably okay. She didn't know when he would return. He'd called her in September to wish her a happy birthday. His voice sounded strained and tired. All he could disclose was that he wanted to come home as soon as he could.

She'd gotten occasional goofy initialed postcards from various locations…most of them motel postcards of rundown hellholes that he'd drawn rabbits on. They were great. She had stuck them on her fridge. Her favorite was the rabbit dressed like a little witch for Halloween.

She thought about him often. The sweet face, the crooked smile, the slicked back hair, the hearing aids. How he smelled. His warm, solid body. She missed him…a lot. She was glad they hadn't hopped into bed, though. Since Gordon left, Shelly was doing really well on her own. She loved the freedom and independence of visiting places she'd always been curious about. Seattle was a really neat city – there was plenty to do there that Twin Peaks couldn't offer. Slowly, Shelly started breaking out of the shy, naïve battered wife and found herself becoming keenly aware and attuned to her surroundings.

She became great friends with her landlady, Mrs. Perkins. It turned out that she was actually Gordon's mother's cousin. (He hadn't mentioned it to Shelly.) Shelly, who was very used to older ladies, cooked dinner for her every Thursday night. They talked about their pasts. Mrs Perkins was a character, and for her class, Shelly did a wonderful photographic series of her sitting at the kitchen table, smoking a cigarette, her hands waving wildly in the air.

Thanksgiving was coming up. Shelly hadn't celebrated it since her grandparents were alive. She fleetingly thought about how nice it would be if Gordon came home for it. She could have a Thanksgiving dinner for Gordon and Norma and Big Ed, and Brenda and Brenda's boyfriend Chuck, maybe. She'd never roasted her own turkey before.

She surveyed her apartment. She'd arranged it pretty nicely. It had a charming vintage feel to it. The sofa, placed in front of the window, was worn but pretty. She'd placed some old fashioned chintz pillows on it. She had found a few old posters and framed prints that were pretty. A few spider plants and ferns sat on the side tables, covering water stains.

She had gotten a cat from Mrs Perkins's friend Edna for company. A pretty calico, which she'd named Clara. Clara slept on her lap a lot.

Shelly walked into her bedroom to fetch her glasses. The antique bed was decorated with a pretty new satin comforter in a bright green. Soft, comfortable, a place she liked to be. Leo would have hated it. Good.

She had put the moose photo in a little frame and it rested on the side table next to the bed. Before she went to sleep at night, looking at the picture cheered her up. Nightmares about her old life faded away. She was a brand new, empowered woman. No more scheming, no more bad situations. She could hardly believe that she had escaped Twin Peaks – her unhappy childhood in the trailer, her abusive marriage – and found a place where she could finally blossom. Gordon had gently pushed her in the right direction, and she was forever grateful he had the insight in her that most lacked.

But she liked Gordon for himself. He was a peculiar man, for sure, but his particular brand of peculiarity was that of someone very interested in everything. She thought about the happy couple of weeks she spent with him.

Brenda came over one afternoon, and Shelly showed her around the apartment. Brenda picked up the picture of Shelly and Gordon under the moose, and wondered who the cute guy in the picture was; he looked like a riot.

"Someone very special to me," Shelly replied, blushing. She didn't know what he was. Not a boyfriend. Not a friend. Just Gordon.

"OHHHHHH," Brenda replied, winking and lighting another cigarette. She made it sound sordid.

"No, not like that."

"Oh, one of those."

"Not that either. He's a dear friend."

"Something tells me in your face that he's more than that to you."

"Don't be silly. He's nineteen years older than me."

"I think you're in love with him."

"Ugh. Love. That got me in trouble twice already."

"You can deny it all you want, but I think you are."

"What makes you think that?"

Brenda laughed.

"Because you've turned down the hottest fucking guy in class. And three others. So either you're a lez, but I don't think you are, or you want someone else."

"Well, that's not 100% true. I mean…I used to be married."

"No shit, really?"

"Yeah."

Shelly filled Brenda in on the details. Brenda's mouth hung open in shock.

"So you see why Gordon is very special to me."

"Sure. You're in love."

"Maybe.

"When's he coming back?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe Thanksgiving?"

"That would be nice. I've always wanted to host my own Thanksgiving."

But Thanksgiving came and went. Shelly got a postcard from Gordon beforehand. He couldn't disclose where he was, but he said he wouldn't be back by Thanksgiving as planned. On the front was a drawing he'd done of the first Thanksgiving, where he had drawn rabbits dressed as pilgrims. Shelly couldn't help but cry. She'd wanted so badly to give him something special.

Well, no one was stopping her, were they? It would have been so much nicer with Gordon.

Norma came and got her for Thanksgiving at Twin Peaks with her and Ed. Ed conked out watching football, so Norma and Shelly sat in the basement den and had some hot cocoa.

Norma's sly, knowing smile crept over her face as she sipped.

"Notice anything about the cocoa?" she purred.

"Ohhhh yes. Hot chocolate mudslide," giggled Shelly.

"I thought we deserved a nice treat," said Norma. "So….I'm dying to know. Has anything happened between you and your handsome friend Agent Cole? I hope you've been spending lots of time together. "

"We were…." Shelly's face got red. "I mean, we would be if he were still here. I think."

"Where is he?"

"I don't know. He's been on call for a few months and can't tell me where he is."

"I see."

"It has to be serious. But unfortunately, that's the nature of his job."

"Of course. So when your Special Agent returns, are you going to continue where you left off?"

"We didn't start anything."

Norma gave her the knowing eye.

"Okay…" Shelly continued, "we made out."

"GOOD."

"Nothing more. We decided to hold off until I got my life back in order."

"Are you happy about that?"

"Of course I wanted him, Norma. But he was right after all. I'm really happy in Seattle."

"Your photos are really excellent. I'm so proud of you."

"I'm proud of me, too. And he's right in other ways, too. He's a lot older. He's got a different perspective on things than I do. I'm glad I just didn't jump in his arms and not get to know him first. He's been so good to me without asking for anything of me. I want to do nice things for him, too."

"Shelly, this is how it's supposed to be."

"I'm glad you and Ed got together," Shelly said.

"I am, too. He's the one for me. He always has been, always will be. I'm glad Hank let me divorce him. But one word of advice, honey. Don't wait too long. Don't let Agent Cole slip away from you."

"I won't."

"You love him, don't you?"

"I do. I really do. The age difference doesn't matter to me. I can't relate to anyone my own age, and they can't do the same for me. But Gordon gets me. And it works."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"I won't know until he returns."

"For your sake and his, I hope you make it work. He's a good, kind person. He'll let you grow, but he'll also support you."

"I hope I can be as good to him back."

"You will."

-o0o-

It was two weeks until Christmas. Seattle was cold and windy, but no snow. Shelly decorated her apartment. She'd bought an aluminum Christmas tree and some old decorations at the antique shop Gordon had taken her to. She was now a regular customer there. Every time she went, she passed the showcase with the lovely earrings she'd tried on the night Gordon took her there. She wished she could afford them. Maybe someday.

She made snowflakes for the window, and thought about she'd never really seen much snow in her life.

She thought for a minute about a conversation she'd had with Mrs. Perkins.

"_When's your young man coming back?" asked Mrs Perkins, slyly._

"_I…well, he's not my young man," replied Shelly._

"_Your old man, then. I always worry about him out there in the woods with those weirdos."_

"_Me too."_

-o0o-

Decorating her own tree for the first time, Shelly sang along to her favorite Duran Duran tape. She loved being able to listen to music she liked. No more angry Slayer. No more Leo ripping apart her cassettes if she did something to anger him. Clara batted at a ball at the bottom of the tree. Shelly had quit smoking after her trip to Twin Peaks. After a few harrowing days, she did it cold turkey. It made her feel much better.

A few minutes later, the buzzer rang. She wasn't expecting anyone. She undid the chain and peeked outside. She was met with a sad face, not quite frowning, but certainly weary.

"Gordon!"

"Shelly, Shelly, Shelly. Let me look at you." His light tone stood in sharp contrast to the worn, sad look in his eyes. He put his hands on her arms, and looked at her intently. Lovingly. With small signs of relief. He took her in his arms and held her tightly. After a few seconds – what seemed like forever – she broke the tiny spell.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm getting too old for this kind of work."

She took his trench coat and hung it in the hall closet as he made his way into the living room. Gordon sat at the kitchen table. His face brightened a little when he saw the collection of rabbit postcards on the fridge. Shelly opened up a Santa tin, filled with cookies from Norma, and put some on a plate. Gordon ate four.

"Can you tell me what happened?" she asked.

"Awful, awful stuff. The gory details will be out in the news when it breaks. I don't want to think about it anymore. But I think I'd like to tell you, if you have a strong stomach. It's not one of my brave stories to woo you, sadly."

"I'm listening." They went into the living room and sat down on the sofa. Gordon opened up quite matter-of-factly, as if he had been holding in bile for months. He nearly had.

_This last assignment had been brutal. A serial killer in rural upstate, close to the coast. He had killed seven young women and an eleven year old girl, all tortured and rotting in the cellar of a cabin. After the long days put in gathering evidence, exhuming what was left of their bodies, he'd had horrific nightmares of seeing Shelly or his little nieces filleted on the morgue table. They __had__ caught him. He led them to the fridge in the basement and showed canning jars full of hair, teeth and organs, labeled like chicken soup. This was by far the worst thing he had ever seen. _

_Gordon hadn't meant to just drop in like this – he would have called, but as soon as he got back to Seattle he'd run straight to her building. _

"I needed someone to talk to." Tears filled in his eyes. Shelly found herself wiping her eyes, too.

"Oh, Gordon. Of course. I'm…I'm very sorry this was such a hard one." She rubbed his arm.

"I'm getting too old for this, Shelly. This just about did me in. We're expected to be the height of professionalism, but how can I do it when I see a child chopped up in a quart canning jar? I think I'm going to have to leave the field. Retire. I'm no hero."

"You helped save who knows how many more women by getting this killer."

"But I wish we had gotten him sooner. Saved them all…"

"What's important is that they didn't die in vain. They told you how to get this bastard with the clues they left you. I do know how it feels to be on the wrong end, how it could have gone. It haunts me every day."

"Of course, oh god, Shelly. I'm sorry."

She put her hand on his.

"I'm not. I was lucky. I'll always remember that. The bad times will never fully disappear, but good things about life will fight them off. You know? One time I overheard Agent Cooper say something to Sheriff Truman at the diner. Every day, give yourself a present."

"I know that line well, my dear. In fact, he has said it to me himself."

"I think it's a beautiful sentiment. It's stuck with me. Here. I know what will hit the spot."

She got up and poured him a cup of strong, black coffee.

"Sweet nectar! And Coop never lies about a good cup of coffee, either. You are an angel of mercy. Tell me how things are going here. I need something cheerful."

"I have something better than telling you." She went back to the kitchen and took off a paper from the fridge.

"There."

Gordon beamed at the paper for a few seconds before speaking.

"Hoooooly smokes!"

"I made Dean's List this semester. Me. Shelly Johnson."

"I'm gonna give you an A+ in knocking my socks off."

"Even better…I might have an exhibit in a gallery downtown. Those photos on the wall are mine. I've been developing my own pictures in the bathroom, and they're getting pretty good. I'm really excited about it."

She presented him with the work she'd been producing all semester. She had such a positive glow – of pride, of accomplishment, of a self-possession he'd never seen in her before. Shelly had grown from a frightened young girl into a confident, strong woman. He loved her even more.

-o0o-

_He looked around at her photos. Photos of strange and wonderful people on the streets who had caught her interest. Her work was beautiful; haunting…like Diane Arbus. It seemed to reflect a small nod to her sad past, but didn't linger there. There was an interesting na__ï__veté to her photos, he thought, but certainly a dark curiosity. She was good. Really good._

"Have you eaten?" she asked.

"No, I haven't. Come to think of it, I'm actually starving."

"I have leftovers. I make dinner for Mrs. Perkins every Thursday, and last night we had Chinese food. I'm expanding my menu."

"I haven't had a home cooked meal in months."

Kung pao chicken, some egg rolls, some fried rice. A while later, the remainder of dinner was on the coffee table, 2/3 a bottle of wine was kicked, and the two were chattering happily. It was the first Gordon had felt relaxed since he left.

"Your home is delightful. You've really done a nice job putting it together."

"I love it here. I'm so happy."

"Hearing that makes me thrilled."

"Do you have plans tonight?"

"No."

"I picked up a movie at the video store. Want to watch it with me?"

He picked up the tape. _The Shop Around the Corner. _

"Oh my goodness. I love this movie. Haven't seen it in years. Or heard it."

"Jimmy Stewart. I haven't seen this one before, but I've been watching his movies all week. He reminds me of you, a little."

"My dear, I take that as a high compliment."

They piled up the pillows back onto the sofa and chairs. Unfortunately, Gordon's hearing aid could only pick up the movie at high decibels. Shelly and Gordon snuggled on the sofa and settled in comfortably.

Halfway through the movie, Shelly laughed and turned to him.

"I love old movies, don't you? It's all I watch. There's nothing on TV except bad news and stupid cop dramas. Give me an old fashioned movie any day," she said.

"They do take your mind off the bad things, don't they?"

"I guess it makes sense, since they were made during the Depression and the war, huh? Like they were designed to put you in a good mood, no matter how sad things are at home. When I stayed at my grandparents as a kid, we used to watch the late afternoon old movies every Sunday. Jimmy Stewart, Bette Davis, all the old movies, Grandpa knew every one. He'd seen them at the theatre."

"You must miss him terribly."

"Yeah, I really do. Grandpa was my best friend. He died before Leo and I married. I just wanted to get away from my mother. Leo wouldn't let me watch anything, hardly. I spent all my time looking after the house. Sometimes I'd daydream, you know? Like I'd remember a snippet from an old comedy film, and mimic the way people talked. I'd perform whole scenes as different characters at the diner. Norma thought I was crazy. It entertained me. It was something Leo couldn't take away from me, at any rate."

Gordon looked at her blankly.

"You must think I'm crazy, too," she giggled.

"No, not at all, my dear. I think it's sweet, but so sad."

"It got me through."

"Can I confess something? I do the same thing when I'm working long cases. Like this last one. If something is really sad, I think about funny movie lines. I wish I could hear movies again."

"Oh, Gordon. Have you been coming home all this time after these sad cases, with no one to talk to?"

"For nearly twenty years."

"I know what it feels like. It's very lonely. This is so much better. But having you back home is the best Christmas present I could hope for."

"Oh, Shelly. Shelly."

Before either of them realized what had happened, they broke apart from the most intense, urgent kiss Shelly had ever experienced. She brushed his cheek with her hand, her heart pounding.

"I wanted you to do that," she panted, as her face reddened.

He tilted his head and smiled.

"I'm going to do it again." He took her in his arms and the two kissed, sweeter this time, tongues flashing, their hearts pounding against each other.

"Gordon. I love you so much. Being away from you so long has been so hard. Just be with me, here, now."

"Oh, Shelly."

He brushed her cheek with his, thrilling to the feeling. He thought he would burst.

"I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me to have you in my life," she said, "but don't think that it's just me being grateful. There wasn't a day since I met you in the diner that I haven't thought of you. And that you've believed in me from the start as a person, not as a dumb high school dropout."

"That's because you're not. And I know you're capable of making a difference in people's lives. You've made one in mine."

"Don't ever leave, again."

"I don't want to. I'm retiring as soon as I can. I've made enough to do it comfortably. I can't go through this again. No more sad things. Let's just be happy together, you and me. We can go to neat places, take our good old time appreciating the beauty and fun of life."

"Yes."

"Which reminds me. Merry Christmas."

He handed her a small box. Inside were the green earrings she had been admiring at the antique store for nearly a year. Shelly began to cry.

"I didn't forget," he said, slyly. "I've been memorizing that photo of us for months. Kept it in my wallet."

"I have something for you, too," she grinned. "I've been so excited to give it to you."

She went in the room and came back with a big present. Inside was an incredible photo she'd taken of the Double R diner at Thanksgiving, matted and framed.

"I thought you'd like to have a photo of where we met."

"It's the most beautiful Christmas present I've ever gotten," he said, "aside from you."

They stumbled into Shelly's room, kissing passionately. Shelly was burning up. They collapsed on the bed, entwined, groaning louder, tearing each other's clothes off.

"You inflame me, Shelly Johnson," said Gordon, looking upon Shelly's nude body for the first time.

"Please, take me now," she gasped.

Neither had ever had such intense sex in their lives, but as they recovered afterward, their chests heaving from exhaustion, they held each other tightly.

"I'm all yours, Gordon Cole."

"And I am yours, Shelly Johnson."

-o0o-

By the end of the week, they'd agreed on one very important thing, and Gordon asked her to be his wife. He gave her his grandmother's ring.

In the middle of January, soon after Gordon's birthday, Shelly and Gordon got married. Dale and Audrey came along with them to the justice of the peace. Audrey did Shelly's hair. They had a sweet little reception in the Twin Peaks fire hall. Norma baked Gordon a special pie. They couldn't take their eyes off each other the whole night.

_Bobby Briggs read about it in the paper and punched a hole in the wall. He was seeing a girl from the next town over, but Shelly had forever broken his heart. Someday he would become a successful lawyer, but he never worked out how to have a good relationship with a woman._

Gordon insisted that Shelly keep her beloved apartment.

They converted it into a photography studio. Gordon's advice had paid off: her photographs were praised for tapping into the emotional souls of her subjects. She quickly ended up becoming one of the most successful photographers in Seattle, and her street work became a cult favorite, much like Diane Arbus. Celebrities often visited when she did shoots for magazines. As much as Shelly had liked school, her work became in such high demand that she decided to end it there. She was learning much better on her own.

"Geez, Gordon, I never thought that I'd drop out of school again after getting married," she mused one evening.

"Are you happy you did?"

"I'm doing pretty well, aren't I?"

"You can always return when and if you want."

"I might. But for now, this is working for me just fine."

-o0o-

Gordon retired from the FBI not long after they married, and took up illustration work. He became a celebrated children's author for his delightful "Agent Rabbit" books. They tried to interview him on "60 Minutes," but had to do a voiceover because he yelled so much.

For the first time in her life, Shelly was able to travel to all the places she'd read about. She and Gordon went all over the country, and even traveled through Europe for a month. Gordon, who had been travelling for over 20 years straight, was happy to do it without a gruesome case to deal with, and with such wonderful company. They even took his nieces on a trip to Yellowstone, which was a lot of fun. Shelly could see why Gordon loved them so much. They were bright, inquisitive, and fun. And his sister, in her early 30s, was a doll. Just as goofy as Gordon, just as warm.

A year after they married, Shelly and Gordon became parents themselves, to a little girl they named Charlotte.

Gordon was beside himself when he realized he could hear her, too.


End file.
